The "Please Be Nice To Me" Gift

I have no idea why, but if I had to pick one Japanese cultural phenomenon that pisses me off to no end, it would be omiyage.

Some people hate key money, others hate the constant shoe removal, I hate the omiyage. There. I said it.

For those of you wondering what omiyage is, let me enlighten you with my limited knowledge.

As far as I know, it’s just buying gifts for your friends, co-workers, etc after returning from a trip. The gift is never anything elaborate or expensive, and is generally a box full of candy/cookies. And for fuck’s sake, the box full of cheap food had better be individually wrapped!

Yet, I was informed to bring omiyage (representing Chicago) to the people I will be working with. Now, if you read that definition of omiyage carefully, you will notice that this really makes no sense, as I am meeting these people for the first time, and am not returning from a trip.

So either I should not bring anything, or people should stop using the word omiyage so loosely, goddamnit.

It’s really more of a ‘Please be nice to me” gift (and that is in-fact what you say when you give the gift), not omiyage.

Omiyage also bothers me because it’s such a scam. As one would expect, entire stores are dedicated to omiyage, and each city (in Japan) has certain omiyage that it is known for. These stores usually already have the omiyage already wrapped and ready to go. Clearly what was intended to be an ‘I’m thinking of you’ gift is nothing more than another gift of obligation.

When bringing omiyage from your home country, I find that it’s difficult to find that precarious area between a tacky souvenir and a genuinely interesting, informative gift (I don’t recommend the “I heart *city*” shirts.). So maybe the pre-packaged codified system of souvenir-giving the Japanese have going on isn't half bad afterall.

Anyway, omiyage rant aside, here is what I bought for my “Please be nice to me” gift (not omiyage!).

For the principal: A coffee table book with lots of pictures of Chicago.
For the vice-principal: A Chicago-related coffee cup and magnet.
For my supervisor: A shot glass with my college’s logo and Chicago magnet.
For the staff room: A box of Chicago-themed mints.

I’ve also brought a bunch of Chicago postcards and keychains that I’ll give away to other people who help me out. These will go to people who help my illiterate ass buy furniture, set up bank accounts, etc.

I’ve also brought Chicago pencils, sets of the 50 state quarters, a Lady Gaga C.D, a coffee cup that says “Rockstar”, and a piggy bank with American money. These things, along with some of the postcards/keychains, will likely be given to students as prizes.

Maybe your astute self noticed that the gifts are not equal. They shouldn’t be: more important people should get more expensive gifts (surprise).

And don’t forget to wrap the gifts (Seriously. I didn’t think this type of gift required wrapping, but it does.).

Good luck with your omiyage adventures (or rather your “Please be nice to me” gift adventures).