By The Way...

I found out some interesting ‘Oh, by the ways…’ about my apartment today.

I knew immediately when I saw the head tilt from my supervisor that what I was about to hear was going to be about as pleasant as a prison gang rape with sandpaper condoms.

First let me digress and let you know when a Japanese person is about to give you bad news/say something they know will be inflammatory.

First is the previously mentioned head tilt. This is somewhat difficult to describe. It is the same type of head tilt a confused dog does, but it is a faster back and forth motion . And it is almost always accompanied by the sharp inward breath between the teeth.

And that’s when you brace yourself.

First was “By the way, rent will be automatically withdrawn from your bank account on the 20th.”

“OK, when is payday?”

*Previously mentioned bad news sound/action* “The 21st”.

“…...”

“OK, well I won’t have enough money in my bank account (which was accompanied by a ‘What the fuck are you gonna do about it’ laugh.”

Then he tries to explain to me the fees that will be involved for every day that I’m late, etc, etc.

Then I continue to explain that there’s not a damn thing that can be done about it. If these real-estate (which is a hilarious word to hear a Japanese person say, by the way) companies want to charge several months rent, deposit, key money, insurance money, etc due immediately upon signing the contract, then collect rent 3 weeks later, I’ve got news for them.

They can go fuck themselves. They’ll get the rent a day or two late.

Once I explained this to my supervisor (with my own head tilt of course), he then paused, and did the head tilt, teeth thing, and eyes closed.

I knew insult was about to be added to injury.

“Also, you know the landlord has a key to your apartment and can enter whenever he wants. You know, if he or the neighbors think something is suspicious.”

While I took this primarily as a roundabout Japanese way of saying, “Don’t do anything stupid in your apartment.”, it bothered me for several reasons.

First, I’m paying way too much rent to be treated like I live in a college freshman dorm. Second, I really hope this is a policy for everyone in the building, and not just some made up Gaijin clause. And third, before I leave my apartment I’m always going to be checking to make sure everything is clean and presentable should my landlord decide to break in.

I don’t want to be judged, OK?

But seriously. That’s some bullshit, by the way.