Japan’s swell, really it is. But sometimes. Sometimes…it’s a little too swell.
When I find myself at wits’ end because of the swellness it always sneaks up on me; it’s usually the accumulation of a bunch of small, well intentioned things that make me touchdown-spike whatever I may be carrying in the genkan.
Which makes the inevitable guilt that comes immediately after said touchdown spike to be that much worse, because I always think, “Aww, but look at the attention to detail. How can I be mad at someone for taking their job seriously and being so thoughtful?”
It also makes me question my sanity because I look at the mess I just caused and go “Wow, did I just explode because my shopping bag was taped closed?” But like I said, it may be the taped shopping bag that caused the explosion, but this was just part of a long chain of seemingly insignificant, but additive, small things.
So what causes the touchdown spike of frustration you ask?
Well, it can usually be traced to the aforementioned tape. Mother of Christ, the amount of taping that goes on in this country boggles the mind. Positively every time you go shopping whether you’re buying donuts, clothes, groceries, CD’s or anything in between, the handles of the bag are brought together, taped, and the bag is now taped closed.
Oh, how thoughtful you say? That’s what I thought, until I have a bunch of shit I just want to quickly unpack. And forget about just tearing it apart. Oh no. The tape stretches, mocking you as you grow frustrated to the point of tears, pleading with, then demanding that the bag opens if it knows what’s good for it. Then, because the bag is often plastic, it has no resistance, and it stretches along with the tape. Now you’ve got a mutilated bag, which is still taped shut, and your fingers have lost circulation because of how hard you’ve been pulling on the handles.
So, finally, you get that motherfucker open, and what do you find (if you’ve gone grocery shopping)? Each pack of meat, chicken, sushi, etc is individually wrapped, and taped, in its own bag. So. Fucking. Unnecessary.
But you breathe a sigh of relief, the bags are all opened, and it’s time for dinner.
How about that sushi you bought? OK!
Hold on? Why won’t the lid come off?
Because it’s taped in four different places!
Aaaaaand cue touchdown spike.
Sep 18, 2010
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I admit that I like when they tape the bags closed when I have a long way to go--the thing that frustrates me is when some convenience store people are so in the Zone that they absolutely insist upon giving me a plastic bag for my bottle of tea despite my telling them that just tape is more than fine.
ReplyDeleteAt least, though, Japan recycles. This little island would be even more buried in unnecessary artificial aesthetic if it didn't. (Though I appreciate my pizza box singing me happy birthday once a year.)
Oh man, the convenience store people truly are a special breed. They really are polite to a fault right?
ReplyDeleteAnd I think Japan is the only place I would not be surprised to find a singing pizza box. I mean, hell, just about everything else sings or has some sort of little jingle that goes along with it.