I’m returning from vacation and beginning to post again on a Tuesday!
Let’s do a combination Pop/Vacation Post! That’s incredible that it works out that way.
So
Happy Holidays from Japan: Where the only thing prettier than the women are the men!
This picture was taken from a holiday poster at Shibuya 109-2, the Mecca of all things Gyaruo.
I forgot to stop by last time in Tokyo, so it was high on my list this time.
I so didn’t belong and the Gyaruo were not too shy about showing it.
It was like walking through a cage of lions that are chained with a chain just short enough to barely miss your face when they try to pounce and maul you.
A super sexy lions’ cage where the lions wore so much tacky silver jewelry they made it cool, and where the lions had hair that could seriously make someone instantly orgasm just by looking at it.
Obviously, the Gyaruo weren’t actively unwelcoming, just the usual thing where they say welcome to every person that walks by except the foreigner.
(As a side note, the people who pass out flyers or restaurant ‘catchers’ also tend to ignore foreigners, which infuriates me.)
Obviously, I was a little dejected by being so blatantly ignored by the 109-2 Gyaruo.
“But I love you and your sleazy counterculture so much! I’m your greatest defender in the Western world and have tried to elevate your sleaze to the level of Academia! If only you knew!”
My thoughts went something like that.
So I got my fill of cold stares from badasses with big hair and got out of there.
On the way out I passed a guy and his girlfriend who were clearly white but were totally doing the Gyaruo thing.
No. Just. No. It was the saddest, most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, what do they think? That they will blend in and be loved by the Genuine Gyaruo? Hell no they won’t. They’ll be tolerated, then mocked as soon as they leave. And rightfully so.
Leave Gyaruo to the Japanese, it doesn’t work for anyone else.
Honestly seeing them kind of blew my mind. I can’t believe how awful Gyaruo looks on white people. It conjures up the most disturbing combination of pity, nausea, and laughter.
Thankfully I ran into the previously shown holiday poster on my way out and felt instantly better. I saw it and had the same sensation as when you are swimming and test yourself to see how long you can hold your breath. You do it until you feel like your lungs are going to explode then you come up and breathing never felt so good because of the pain you just went through.
Seeing that poster was kind of like that.
All was once again right with the world.
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Hey! Good for you, way to not lurk!