Oh, The People You Meet

I’ve met precious few people who are both interested in some aspect of Japanese culture and able to maintain the public illusion of normalcy. It seems that a prerequisite of being interested in Japan is being a social fuck up.

Now before I go further, and you hate me, let me say this: not being normal is fine, even sexy, however if this lack of normalcy begins to interfere with reality, it becomes decidedly unsexy. Also let me say that every single person, without exception, has some not-normal tendencies, which is fine. Meaning that the only thing separating those interested in Japanese culture from the rest is that they are incapable of hiding their lack of normalcy. Those interested in Japanese culture seem to be borderline zealots and react with an aloof sense of disbelief at anyone who claims that every aspect of Japanese culture is in fact not better than their home culture.

No doubt you want specifics. I can’t really offer any. But I can say this, in my Japanese culture classes I definitely had the highest concentration of the people who say things that make you do that sharp breath inward between your teeth and make you think ‘Really, you just said that?’. These people cosplay as their favorite anime character and believe this qualifies them as experts in Japanese culture and they can now make blanket statements and inappropriate generalizations about Japanese culture based on their limited exposure to it.

Motivating these people’s Japanese jihad is, I believe, their realization that they are total social outcasts in their own culture and a hope that they can ‘runaway' from and ‘escape’ this culture and that somehow Japanese culture will offer a fresh start.

How tragically misguided they are! The only result of their running is that they get to be social outcasts in a foreign culture instead of their home culture.

Maybe you are thinking, ‘Wow, what inspired this guy to take the time to write a post on this topic?’

A legitimate question to be sure.

Well, it was a few things actually.

First was my reflecting on the complete and total douches I met while waiting for my JET interview. 9 out of 10 seemed to be entirely incapable of holding a conversation. Almost all acted with this air of superior indifference and cold disinterest in whatever I was saying. Clearly they believed a conversation exists solely for the purpose of establishing the fact that they are obviously superior in every way. Some made it obvious that my poor Japanese ability was going to end me in the interview, with the implication that they were the obviously superior candidate because of their memorization of obscure kanji. I’d be willing to bet these people got their shit kicked in the interview if they gave the panel half of the smug attitude they gave me.

Second, and a little more on the ‘Pssh, are you fucking serious side!?’ was a post on a forum I saw. It was labeled ‘Any JETs with Aspergers?’. Naturally I clicked, out of a morbid sense of curiosity and the need for cynical entertainment. It was about a prospective applicant with Aspergers who was thinking of applying, asking whether this problem would interfere with the job.

OK, seriously? You have a problem with social interactions and you are wondering whether you should apply for a job that is nothing but social interactions—do I have this right? I’m pretty sure the only thing that would make this person a poorer candidate is if the person enjoyed molesting children—but I think it’s safe to say they don’t like to molest children since physical contact likely sends them to a corner while rocking in a fetal position.

But after thinking about it a little more, it became obvious: Judging by the people I met during the interview, a large majority of JETs likely have Aspergers to some degree. So this potential applicant is, in fact, quite qualified. Shame on me for being so insensitive.

But seriously, social retardation is not a joke. If you or someone you know is a Japan-obsessed, arrogant, oblivious, generalizing douche, please throw them (or yourself) through a plate glass window.

Society thanks you in advance.

"JET Will Make All Attempts To Honor An Applicant's Placement Request..."

Though I found out I had been accepted into the JET Program over a month ago, only with a definite placement do I feel I can now legitimately start a JET-related blog.

The other day I checked my email, and wedged between 'Bullshit' and 'I don't want to deal with this' was a more intriguing email, with the subject line "JET Program Placement".

'Wow! So early!', I thought. I wondered which of my placement requests I would get, or get near to. For the record, I requested Shizuoka, Niigata, and Osaka.

I opened the email, aaaaannd...

Motherfucking Okinawa.

Clearly the good people at JET make every attempt to honor participants' location requests.

I have spent the past four years in New Orleans (with a semester in Singapore), all I wanted was a place with four distinct seasons, instead I'm getting more of the same.

Plus, let us not forget that Okinawa is about as Japanese as Hawaii is American--which is to say not at all. I'm so far from Japan; geographically and culturally.

But after all of this raced through my mind, I took a breath and realized, "Holy shit, I'm going to spend the next year (possibly more) on a tropical island."

And that's probably nothing to complain about.