How To Sell Yourself Like A Whore

You know, in the JET SOP. What did you think I meant while you clicked that link?

I believe (and word on the street seems to confirm) that the most important part of the JET application process is the Statement of Purpose. I believe second most important are the Letters of Reference, third most important is the Interview. People may disagree with this, saying the Interview is the most important, but let's face it, if you look like a fuck up on paper (and I mean that in the most loving way possible) you're not getting your foot in the door. 

So, let's get to the point of this then, shall we? Here are some general tips for reducing your lovely, interesting self to a mere two pages and selling yourself like a (classy) whore. And at the end I've included my SOP, purely as a reference of course.

1) For fuck's sake, check the grammar, punctuation, and other technicalities. It should go without being said, but things like their/there, your/you're (though you shouldn't be using second person, and most certainly shouldn't be using conjunctions) should not be a reason the panel rejects your application. Along this same line, check the general structure and flow; use good transitions. OK, you get the idea.

2) Get other people to read it. I would suggest someone who is somehow involved in JET (mainly to check content; as they know what the panels are looking for) and an English professor (mainly to check for technical nonsense).

3) Get started early, but not obscenely early--you get no bonus points for sending your application in early. I can't emphasize this enough: it is not a competition to see who gets their application in first! Start your SOP maybe a month before the deadline, leave it for a week, then come back. Along that same line...

4) You should (and likely will) write several drafts. Consider the first simply a glorified outline, don't be afraid to completely start over if you need to.

5) Follow the directions. Exactly as written. Seriously. Two pages means two pages. Name/page on right corner means just that. Something tells me the Japanese don't award bonus points for being a rebel.

6) Now for the more difficult area--the actual content. I can't tell you what to write, but whatever you choose to mention should serve one of three purposes:

a) Most importantly I believe, your content should explain why you are a unique (fyi: unique does not equal crazy/eccentric) and simultaneously qualified candidate. Consider personality, classes taken, or relevant job/volunteer experiences. Having a casual interest in manga, pop culture, cosplay, etc does NOT count and should not be mentioned. I'm not being judgemental; God knows I love me some androgynous Japanese mass cultural oddities, but don't mention it. Hide it. Fool them into thinking you're normal.
             
 b)Your content should show what you can bring to JET (this is kind of taking your content from 'a' and extrapolating/applying/showing why its relevant to JET). They are paying you after all, show them why you are a better investment and better meet their goals than the next guy.
             
 c) Finally, your content should show what you will gain from JET. I would find some way to relate it to whatever future occupation you hope to have, even if JET does not seem at all relevant. If you must, you can always rely on the old faithful 'JET will help me become a more mature, independent, cosmopolitan person, blah blah blah'.

7) Get their attention immediately. As in the very first line. They read thousands of these, and I've heard each SOP gets literally 1-2 minutes, tops. You can't waste time building to a point, say it right away.

8) Be eloquent and artful, but also concise. You only get two pages and can't afford to waste too much space with flowery language or metaphors. This is not an English paper, you're selling yourself.

9) Buzzwords/themes you may consider including: flexible, adaptable, dedicated, cultural ambassador, patient, instances of dealing with diversity.

Alright then! Without further delay, here is the SOP that got my ass shortlisted and headed to Japan:

The pursuit of a career in medicine demands much from an individual. It requires unyielding perseverance and the confidence to remain flexible when obstacles are encountered. Pursuing a career in medicine is not a decision one makes haphazardly, and I approach all aspects and decisions in my life with this same degree of care, including my decision to apply to the JET Program. I have little doubt that the qualities which the JET Program seeks to instill in its participants will aid me in becoming a more able physician. So strongly do I believe that the JET Program will foster qualities vital to becoming an empathetic physician that deferring my seat in medical school for the maximum allotted time of three years comes with no hesitation. Qualities such as perseverance, compassion, and flexibility, which have been developed in my wide range of experiences and have contributed to my early acceptance to medical school, will readily lend themselves to success in facing the demands of an ALT and cultural ambassador.


It was in New Orleans, and my teaching experiences in its schools, which have most developed my sense of compassion and enthusiasm for helping others learn. Being part of the first entering class after Hurricane Katrina, I encountered New Orleans as a fragile city and I arrived determined to be part of the rebuilding process. This rebuilding took the form of helping 8th graders pass their high school entrance exams or explaining algebra in a way that seemed relevant to uninterested students. I worked with students from a wide range of economic and social backgrounds; from students at highly prestigious schools, to those with disadvantaged backgrounds from some of the most at-risk neighborhoods in New Orleans. With each student I encountered I was able to build rapport and develop mutually rewarding relationships grounded in respect and tolerance, while ensuring success in their academic pursuits. I could have attended university anywhere, but after spending four years in New Orleans, I can confidently claim attending university in New Orleans has been the best use of my dedication and abilities and has helped me grow into an understanding and compassionate individual.

Though my university experience in New Orleans has greatly developed my maturity, I attribute my greatest strides in maturity to my time spent studying in Singapore. My experience in Singapore was made memorable, not only by the foods I tried and festivals I attended, but by the lasting friendships I made during my time there. With the help of these friends and my adaptability, my time in Singapore was a thoroughly enjoyable and worthwhile experience. Though it may be an impossible task to label any single event as ‘character changing’ I believe my exchange in Singapore was crucial in forming me into the flexible and mature person I am today. My time in Singapore was such a formative experience that it has lead me to work with Tulane University’s Office Of Study Abroad to actively recruit students to go on exchange in Singapore as well as help Singapore exchange students adjust to life in the U.S.

I expect that my experience in Japan will be equally, if not more, formative than my experience in Singapore. It is my hope that my time in the JET Program will allow me to explore Japanese culture in a way that reading books and sitting in lectures cannot accomplish. I have taken several classes on Japanese culture, and have devoted considerable time to informal learning, yet I would like to broaden my knowledge and appreciation in a way that can only be accomplished through immersion into the culture and language. I have much to learn from Japan, and much to bring to Japan, and I look forward to having the opportunity to take the role of both a teacher and student and encourage a sense of curiosity and enthusiasm across cultures. By bringing my sense of enthusiasm, flexibility, and motivation to the classroom and community, I hope to promote the belief that differences are not something to fear or that should divide. Instead, these differences can be used for mutual exchange and the fostering of unity.