Tokyo's A Douche, Osaka's A Whore, and Kobe Is Your Favorite Friend

It’s going to take quite a few posts to do this trip justice, so we may as well get started right away.

This will be more of an overview-type post.

So I never made it to Kyoto, just Kobe, Osaka, and Tokyo. In 6 days. It was way too much and I’ll never try to pack so much into such a small time again. I learned my lesson. I really felt like I spent more time in train stations, airports, and bullet trains than anything else.

It was like I was grocery shopping with each of the cities; checking off each attraction, taking pictures, then moving to the next as efficiently as possible. And that is not how a vacation should work.

So anyway.

Kobe was far and away my favorite city, despite (or because of) spending the least amount of time there. Admittedly, you really can’t even begin to get a feel of a city in 2 days, but me and Kobe just seemed to click.

Kobe is the perfect size, small enough to be entirely manageable and non-overwhelming, but big enough that it didn’t feel like a Japanese version of Indianapolis.

It is also easily the most attractive of the cities I visited. Tokyo is never attractive, Osaka had its moments, but Kobe, crammed between mountains and the sea and thoroughly clean and modern, is exactly my kind of city. If I were to ever settle in Japan (and I never would) Kobe is where I would go.

It may have been purely luck, but Kobe also had the friendliest people. It really was the only city I genuinely didn’t want to leave. Everyone I met in Kobe didn’t seem to have this artificial barrier that pretty much every other Japanese person I’ve ever met has. I’m clearly not doing a good job finding the right words to describe the amazing people here, so let’s just call them the most welcoming.

Let’s see, Osaka and Tokyo.

Tokyo just pissed me off. It may have been because it was at the end of the trip and I had had enough of vacation, or the fact that I happened to visit on a weekend when everything was crowded, but I couldn’t find anything redeeming about Tokyo. I said it before, and had it confirmed, but really, Tokyo is truly the prototype of a city that has gotten out of control.

Fuck Tokyo. I hate Tokyo, but I’ll of course go back. Because it’s Tokyo. No matter how much you hate the rich and popular kid, we all know everyone still wants to be friends with him. Tokyo is the rich and popular kid of Japan. It has this indescribable and confusing attraction. Fucking Tokyo, I’ll find something to like about you.

And Osaka. Honestly, Osaka was kind of a let down. Everyone’s always like, “Osaka! Loud, crazy people! Amazing food!” Again, I was only there for two days, but I saw none of that.

Although, it was painfully clear the people of Osaka have a totally different fashion sense than anyone in the other cities I visited. Way more loud and flashy. For me it was almost approaching the line of being over the top and overwhelming. Just because trying to keep up in such an atmosphere would be exhausting , and ultimately, self-destructive.

Thank God for Kobe, with its perfect surroundings, size, and people. It was just such a comfortable place to be.

Oh! That’s it! That’s my attraction with Kobe; it is a city that is so comfortable with itself. It’s not like Osaka with something to prove, or Tokyo with the arrogant sense of not having to prove anything, just by virtue of being Tokyo. Kobe and its people were genuinely comfortable with themselves and maybe that translated to their down-to-earth, welcoming aura.

That’s the summary. Tokyo; still trying to love it. Osaka; needs to seriously tone it the fuck down and clean itself up. And Kobe; a city everyone could learn a lesson from.

Detailed posts on the individual cities (with pictures!) coming soon!