When Parallel Universes Meet

It is one thing to get so caught up in daily life that I forget the fact that I’m actually in Japan, then have it suddenly dawn on me. But it is quite another to actually go places and experience things that I have seen a million times in videos or pictures.

These moments are incredibly powerful. Seriously. When I had the moment I’m about to write about I almost passed out. Which would have been a serious problem because it was on a crowded subway platform in Osaka.

Part of the fact that these moments might be so powerful is maybe because a lot needs to go right in order to have these “Holy shit!” moments. First and most difficult, I need to have seen something Japan-related in the US, then physically have that same exact moment in Japan. It’s like two parallel universes must merge for a moment. But it’s not enough for these universes to merely meet, I must also be consciously aware of the fact that it’s happening so I can step through the break in the space-time continuum caused by such a moment and temporarily reach the Divine Enlightenment of the “Holy shit” moment.

Anyway, let’s get to the story.

On my third and final day in Osaka back in November I was tired, cold, and doing anything to avoid going back to the hotel to pack my suitcases yet again and head to the next city on my whirlwind tour. So I was standing on a platform waiting for a subway on the main line in Osaka, when I decided I just needed to sit and absorb what’s going on. So I deliberately missed several trains, just watching the scene on the platform.

This is not one of those narrow tube platforms. It was needlessly huge. The ceilings were vaulted like, and about as high as, a cathedral. The lighting was provided by chandeliers (yes chandeliers) that gave off a bright, but dingy yellow light.

So every time a train arrived this magical little jingle would play.

The first time I heard it I was like “Huh. That sounds kind of familiar.”

The second time; “OK, I’ve definitely heard this before. But that makes absolutely no sense. Where in the fuck would I have heard the ‘train-approaching’ warning for the Osaka Midosuji subway line?”

The third time; “Seriously. This is like I have a mosquito bite on my brain. Next time, really focus ok?”

The fourth time; “OK, I heard it while looking at a skyline. Pachinko Parlors. Evening. Setting sun.”

Then it hit me. It was the background sounds in the opening of “The Great Happiness Space” (the host club documentary I know I've mentioned on here before) as the camera pans over the skyline of Osaka. When I first saw the movie I had no idea what the sound was, I just assumed it was a pachinko parlor.

Here is the sound from my American parallel universe:


Watch THE GREAT HAPPINESS SPACE - TALES OF AN OSAKA LOVE THIEF in Movies | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I have no idea why the realization was so powerful. Maybe it has something to do with the jingle itself? It’s so non-offensive, yet interesting. It's the public transportation jingle equivalent of having a Japanese woman in a pink pill box hat, matching pink skirt-suit, white gloves and bright red lipstick come up to you, lightly touch your arm and say (while smiling and gesturing down the track); "Why, excuse me sir the next train will be approaching within moments. Could you kindly stand behind the yellow line (while gesturing with the other gloved-hand)?"

AAAAnyway I was compelled to record it for myself. No doubt it’s probably unremarkable for you, especially if you haven’t seen the movie, and been in an Osaka subway station, and had to struggle to remember where you heard it.

But for me it is maybe my most tangible proof to myself that I’m actually in Japan. Of course I’ve been to other places that I’ve seen in travel shows or youtube videos, but this was way more powerful. Maybe because it was so personal. I mean, how many people have the Osaka subway jingle burned into their subconscious stemming from their unhealthy obsession with host clubs?

Yup, this jingle carries some serious baggage. It makes my skin tingle every time I hear it. If I play it for someone, they won’t understand at all and I’ll probably get two questions. First; “Why would you record the jingle on the Osaka subway?” Second; “Could you please stop crying, you’re making me uncomfortable.”